What I am Thinking While at Your Wedding....

Saturday, Joe and I went to WZYP's Bridal Fair that they put on twice a year. Joe had to go for work, so naturally I volunteered to be in the Fashion Show. I also knew this was going to be the perfect time to torture Joe with all things wedding. Which makes me chuckle on the inside because he gets SO uncomfortable. :) While walking around it brought me back to my lovely wedding consulting days, and reminded me of everything I hate in weddings. Working in the industry I have heard it all. So here are a few of my little (personal) pet peeves. Don't take it personally if this is your taste, or if your wedding was like this, I just wanted to entertain everyone with my very opinionated views of weddings.

Red Bridesmaid Dresses:

Totally acceptable... if done tastefully. NEVER acceptable if it's just because you are an Alabama fan.... Don't shove yourself in that Alabama redneck wedding stereotype.... For goodness sake. Second of all. Houndstooth is not a color. So when I used to ask brides their wedding colors they would always say Crimson and Houndstooth. I would just look at them blankly for about 20 seconds before repeating their answer like I had just been struck by lightning. OH. you mean red, black, and white.

If you dress your bridesmaids in crimson with houndstooth shoes, and have a football themed wedding cake, and play the fight song during your wedding.... you deserve at least one guest to dress like this....

And don't even think about putting a red sash on your wedding dress too.... please.

Cupcake Cake-

Stop it. Leave the cupcakes at your toddlers birthday party! If you want a cheaper approach to a wedding cake, talk to your caterer about doing a few fake layers, one layer to cut into, and then provide a sheet cake in the back. Guests won't know the difference once the cake is taken away for cutting. PLEASE stop trying to make cupcake towers into a wedding fixture. 

Ballet Flats or Flip Flops on ANYONE

I don't want to see them on you... I don't want to see them on bridesmaids. Nothing kills the elegance of a beautiful dress like flip flops. Would you wear flip flops to church? (I hope not) Then don't wear flip flops to a wedding. And the little ballet flats that look like your grandmothers house shoes aren't any better. Suck it up. Put on a real shoe. It's a wedding, if you really can't handle a heel try a very small one, or a *cringe* wedge. At least then it looks like you tried to put your outfit together.

really....

M&Ms as Favors

They were cute when they first came out. I'm so tired of your personalized M&Ms because you couldn't think of anything else.... There is so much else out there in the world of favors. OR just don't give one at all. But personally I don't want to be popping anything in my mouth with you and your new spouses name on it. If you want something personal, make it about you. Not just something with your name printed on it. I don't want your monogrammed Koozies, Candy, or anything else for that matter. I want something that makes me fondly remember your big day! Even if it's just a donation to a charity that you are both passionate about, at least it's personal!

Karaoke

Don't subject me to your drunk aunt singing "I Will Survive". Enough Said.

Dogs in the Wedding Party

Your dogs may be cute, to you. But not everyone wants your pooch at the wedding. There is hair, stench, and bathroom things to think about. Not to mention no one really wants the responsibility of puppy sitting during your big day. I don't care about a puppy ring bearer, and odds are neither will your guests. I don't care if he is in a doggy tuxedo.

There are SO many others that I could go on and on.... but here are a few. Like I said. No offense intended if you want to have or have had these in your wedding. But I am probably cringing on the inside :)